A Stream of Conscious Toddler Thoughts

I'm awake. Why am I still in my bed? I'm going to stand here and grunt until someone comes to get me. Hey, maybe if I yell loud enough I can wake up my brother and sister too. Oh, here comes my Mommy. Why does she look so tired? I don't know what she's talking about. What does "It's only 6:30" mean anyway? Put my feet on the floor. I'm out of this bedroom. Oh juice, I want my juice. Juice, I need my juice. Why is she not in here getting my juice yet? Oh there she is. She's pouring something. Is it my juice? I need my juice. Why can't she pour it any faster? Faster! Faster! I want my juice. Ahhhhhhh. That's so refreshing. I must go turn on the TV. Oh look. It's Curious George. That reminds me. If I pull out the second draw of the entertainment center, I can.....climb...up...and stand in the drawer.....then I can reach the Wii and turn it on. There. Mission accomplished. Oh shoot. She caught me. What is the big deal? Why can't I stand here in this drawer? Fine. I'll just go climb up on the piano so I can reach all the teeny tiny Legos they store up on top. She's not watching. Here I go. I just climb on the piano bench....up on to the next part. Why must this thing make so much noise when I walk all over these white and black lines? She's going to hear me..... shoot. She caught me. Back down to the floor I go. Hmmmm. Oh yeah. I like that spinning cabinet in the corner of the kitchen. For some reason they keep putting the cereal boxes there. I like Cocoa Puffs. Yep there it is. If I take the box, hold it like this and shake it really hard, it makes a cool sound when all of the cereal hits the floor. Perfect. Now I just have to sit down and eat. Why does she keep saying my middle name like that? Really mom, it's fine to just call me Ty. "Tyson Hunt Fuller" sounds so, so professional! And mom, just leave all the cereal on the floor. I'll eat it eventually. No need to get out that noisy vacuum. Ugh. She swept it all up. Again. Well, while she's busy putting the vacuum away, I'll just sneak into the bathroom here and put all the toothbrushes into my mouth. It always gets such a reaction out of everyone when they see me with their toothbrush in my mouth. What's the big deal anyway? Hey, while I'm in the bathroom I may as well turn the water on full blast. Then I can fill this cup up and dump it all down the front of my shirt. She'll probably end up changing my clothes, but it'll be fun anyway. Did someone just say my name? Oh it's her again. Why does she keep interrupting my fun? And why does she keep saying "Nap time can't come soon enough?" If she's so tired I wish she would just take a nap now. I can take care of myself, then she won't keep messing up my plans. Oh look it's a pack of gum. If I take this and hide behind the chair, I wonder how many pieces I can unwrap and stick in my mouth before she catches me? One....two....three.....four......five.....wow, she still hasn't caught me. I'll just take stick #6 and go show her before I put it in my mouth too. Mom? Mom, look! I can barely close my mouth. This gum is fun! Wait! Now she's pulling it all out of my mouth and throwing it in the trash can. Geez. Can't a guy catch a break around here? Cars. I'll go play with my cars. I can dump out the whole box, lay on the floor and play with them quietly. For some reason she doesn't bother me when I'm doing this.